So, I've been thinking. You remember my whole beauty pageant idea? Well, if they gave me a microphone, and I as in front of that many people, and I had dressed up, I would be feeling pretty ballsy. You know what I'd do?

Them: "What do you want most in the world?"
"Well, my family never let me do this because putting a microphone in my hands and making me wear this crap would be a bad idea, because I'd probably get myself kicked out. And they were right. But since you asked what I want most in the world, guess what. I'm going to tell you. It's not World Peace, either.
"I would get rid of all materialism and superficialism in the world. I'm fully aware of the fact that 'superficialism' isn't a word, but I didn't feel like reading all the definitions in the dictionary to find the real word.
"I was just backstage, and I've seen all of these girls being so emotionally unstable. They cry if they win, and they cry if they lose. They cry because their mothers told them, 'Okay, time to earn Mommy's love' when they were little and forced into this. They also cry because this is a time to find out, 'Am I good enough for the world to like me?'
"Apparently, I made it this far, so I'm good enough. What you didn't know is that I've been planning this speech since I was sixteen years old. What you don't know about that last chick that was up here was that her IQ is one hundred and fifty-one and she has no use for it because she was not taught to use her brain, she was taught that the bigger her tits, the better she was.
"Why are we being paraded back and forth to be told whether or not we're as good as the girl next to us based entirely on appearances?
"Why would they spend two hundred dollars of money they could be using on their school shit on a dress to make them look good enough to get one hundred dollars prize money?
"And why the hell are you sons of bitches here supporting it?
"You wanna know what? I take it back. I do wish for world peace. This is a byproduct of wishing our stupid destructive worthless race dead."

And I would put the mic down and walk away. Assuming, of course, that I didn't get up there and get dragged off the first instant I cleared my throat. They'd have dragged me away or unplugged my microphone by the time I swore the first time, anyway.

... GOD, I want to do that. I'm proud of myself for just thinking it, and now all I have to do is get up and SAY it. ((Actually, signing up for the fucking beauty contest is a bitch in itself. I don't feel like it, half the time. Besides, if I did it here, there'd be no purpose.))

So, I wonder, how would I get this thing on the news like those other guys did? Do I pay someone?
"Blogger offers support to cancer patients by writing out his own battles."

"Livejournalist is voice of the generation."
I'm not dumb enough to be the voice of the generation. I think my generation are all normal, too, that helps.
Then again, I have no great trauma. Maybe the whole "lost her father before she was three" bullshit, but I got one back. There were other things. I'm kind of typical, other than in thought-process. Wisdom, I suppose would be the way to put it. ((sounds so bigheaded when I say it, though, calling myself wise. I'm not, either.))

And if I get famous, what would happen? I would get money, of course, because money makes the world go round and so do idiots.
I'd get more college bullshit.
I'd get a bunch of offers.
There's no point. I'd tell them to fuck off.
I need to get famous, though. Just so I can speak out against all the bullshit in the world. You know, people that do that shit, they're hated and loved.

"I'm pro-choice. Shit happens, women get pregnant, and sometimes, they shouldn't have children. The baby ain't conscious 'til the sixth month, and it doesn't get a heartbeat for nearly two weeks after conception anyway. Fuck you guys."
"I'm pro-gun. Some people and things need to die. Shoot 'em."
"I'm pro-gay marriage. Let them fuck up like we do. They bleed, too. If they want to make the same mistakes as us, then let 'em. That, or ban marriage altogether. It's not sacred, it's not a human right, and it's not even religious anymore. God doesn't care. If they did, then they'd do something about it."
"I'm pro-death row. If they need to die to keep them from doing it again, then I ain't gonna use my tax money to feed them. Kill 'em."
"I think that the test to become an American should be taken by an American once a year. If they can't pass it, then fix it 'til they can."
"I think that people who think that they can judge other people can fuck themselves."
"Our money's our money. We're not communists."
"Our President has no power. The idiots behind him just have a hand up his ass."
"Anyone running for president should take a mandatory IQ test. If he gets below one twenty, then kick his ass out."
"Mudslinging should be banned until you can say "Yeah, I did it, too.""

I want to get famous. Just so I can say that shit. It's not so much I want to speak my mind on the subjects (And I do, don't get me wrong.) but I also want to put it that way so that the dumbasses get it and aren't just lameass followers. You notice that I threw in equal parts Democrat and Republican?

I suppose that if I started posting political shit, and someone famous happened to chance across it on google or something, they'd follow me.

It's never occurred to me that this thing might have readers. Kayleigh told me she read it, and Steve said that, sometimes, it's interesting. This worried me. Holy shit, these two don't comment often, maybe they just read those posts. Oh, shit, what if they don't?
I think some complete stranger's posted on my thingie twice, but I'm not real sure. I don't remember.
But, still, I mean, holy shit. Who reads this thing? Who the hell cares what some weirdo angsty teenager has to say, even if she is smart?

((Look at that, blowing my own horn again. Someone kill me.))

I should really sleep so I'll wake up before five o'clock. I still need to drop by the dentist to pick up the pain meds. We're out of the Q-Gesic we had.

Alright. My head's getting heavy, I'm going to go write 'til my eyes bleed, then I'm going to bed. Saijonara.
-R.F.